Need help understanding

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CuriousKat
CuriousKat's picture
Need help understanding

I have watched that a lot recently and have noticed that none of them seem to like it get along with each other it's a lot a back stabbing bitchyness and passive aggressive remarks. They never seen to truly like spending a lot of time all together they always seem to smile threw gritted teeth and as the seasons progressed they just seemed to get further and further apart.

It got me to thinking about my own relationship which is plural and about other relationships and it got me to wondering.... Is it possible to be truly harmonious and happy in this kind of relationship or is it Coomes to always suffer from kind of bitchyness or catiness? Is it impossible to be truly happy unless it's just you and one other member of the family at a time? Be it you and your man or you and only one of the sisterwives

I'm crying a little a realise but these are things I genuinely want honest answers to I want to know is there a plural family out there that would desribe themselves as happy? Or should I just stick my head in the sand and play dumb ignoring all the unpleasant upsetting unfair behavior of the other people in my relationship?

Garrison
First of all, "Reality Shows"

Comment: 

First of all, "Reality Shows" are meant to exhibit stuff which a general audience will find realistic, perhaps?

Not everyone focuses on the negative signals when the mere fact that an unusual lifestyle/family can survive is just awesomely amazing.   And perhaps folks taking that perspective can love the folks in the show.  I know some people who do it that way.

Second, I am not a "lifestyler" or a believer in dogma or prescriptions for behavior, so I just don't care to be all that critical.  I think your feelings are understandable, and not unusual at all. It's just the nature of life that we have some needs, and some feelings, and they are real.  What we choose to do with them, or about them will determine our course, and our happiness.  In general, it may not be possible to just change others, but I am religious enough to believe in a loveing Father in Heaven who can be a resource for a lot of good development.

I listen a lot to some Christian women programs where there is faith that the things we turn to God with can be healed or helped in ways beyond our own capabilities.

It's not the format of the family, but the faith of the family, that matters most.

Garrison

CuriousKat
CuriousKat's picture
FAITH, that would be nice. Answers would be better.

Comment: 

i often envy those that can believe, i try very hard and have tried on many different religious hats in my search but never find one that fits and just praying on my on i feel lost and i just end up giving in.

But i have been in my family for about 4-5 months i have to be honest instead of getting esier it seems to be getting harder and i seem to be finding it harder and harder to deal with all the drama that goes on. I came into this not thinking it would be easy but at least excpecting that people we would be pleasent with one another and that i would feel wanted ad loved and i have to be honest i only feel that from one person in my home at the moment. But note that is how i feel it may not be what is going on.

I am just questioning harder and harder is it always going to be this way, as every example i have ever seen in my life, of this lifestyle be it on tv or not they never seem truly happy they all smile threw gritted teeth they always seem unhappy and bitter with each other. Becasuse while i am not going to leave i do want to know if i should be just sticking my head in the sand and only interacting and making an effort on the times when people in my life do it to me or should i continue bending over backwards and breaking my back to make a huge effort because in the long run things will get better and if they will get better how long should it genrally take.

I just dont want to waste my energy and efforts on something that i wont get a return out of. To some this might seem like endless whinning and it not it is a genuine questuion can everyone be harmonious and happy for long peiods of time or will it only ever be small windows of time were everyone gets along for very short periods of time and then it returns to catiness bitchyness and an under the surface a bubbling jealous and hatred???

CuriousKat
CuriousKat's picture
If it were only that easy. :(

Comment: 

:(

Garrison
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst

Comment: 

I dunno, CK, this scenario seems troubling to me.  You're pretty new to have the honeymoon done already.  Wasn't a husband in the Bible supposed to spend at least a year on the honeymoon?

 

So, I'm probably not what many folks would take as religious, but I think you need to expect more of this and make sure you're not some other people's doormat.  Talk to that man, and make certain he understands you expect him to stand up for you.

Garrison

Rock
conflicting desires

Comment: 

relationships are about sacrifice. ...

the 'rub' comes especially in a poly relationship where one is committed to sacrificing themselves and their personal desires yet others do not. This becomes a doomed relationship.

when 2 people can truly operate 'as one' ...then you have something. adding another woman that wants 'what she wants'.....is like adding acid to a garden

most poly relationships don't even have the unity of the first two. . This is due to a man that doesn't want to lead correctly and a woman that does not want to follow.

HouseofDavid
HouseofDavid's picture
Hope

Comment: 

Hope things are better. If not, you need to have a sit down discussion. Marriage is for the fulfillment of all not a prison sentence. You like we can chat pm.

At your Service

Sabrina
Thank you for your helpful

Comment: 

Thank you for your helpful suggestions!

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