advice

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lionel22
advice

Hi im new to all this. My wife and i have decided to take on a second wife. The one the my wife thought of was a good friend of hers. She had talked to her about it before and she seemed interested, but now she has doubts. Since im new to this i was looking for any insight from others that have been at this point. What is the next step and how cani explain it to her so she can understand it more. She has had issue with every relationship she has had and i truly believe she would be happy with us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Golux
remember that it's courtship and marriage

Comment: 

It's worth remembering that you're talking about marriage. You got one woman to marry you already, and probably not with explanations but rather by courtship.

The difference now is that while you were single before, this time you're a package deal; you come with a household attached.

The arrangement you're pursuing is new to all of you. If she joins you, then there are things to learn, such as how to balance both openness and privacy between more than two partners. As in any household, this will depend on the unique needs and abilities of each person involved. Women in particular need to know that certain intimacies will not be divulged, no matter how trivial. Take your time and enjoy the learning process.

First, however, you need to know if you're suited to each other, and a bit of time spent alone together can go a long way toward sorting this out. In other words, court rather than explain. You may discover that she brings the same problems as troubled her earlier relationships.

Pluto8
Pluto8's picture
Just a general rule I use

Comment: 

If you get kicked out of one bar it may just be a bad bartender. If you get kicked out of every bar in town it's probably you

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything

"Be ye faithful unto death and I will give you a crown of life"