I am going to give you a little sage advice and you can do with it as you will. I will give you a little background so as to establish my credibility first.
- I am a practicing polygamist
- I met two of my ladies here as in on THIS website
- I have attracted to my family many suitors in the past, most did not work which is fine but others have worked which is wonderful
- I have real world experience rather than just theory
I am not saying that I am anything special so don't go away with that notion in your mind. That is absolutely Not the point here. I am trying in fact to help y'all because I give a damn about this sort of relationship and community flourishing rather than people being scared off or getting frustrated.
So I am just going to throw out several bits of quick advice but try really hard to not go into depth. I am naturally long winded so going to try to keep this snappy.
- READ! When you are replying to the advert of a single woman on here or anywhere else and the ad is years old then all you are doing is making yourself look foolish and not at all like a catch to be frank.
- Learn to take No for an answer. Just because you write to them does Not mean that they will reply even if you have the best and most honorable intentions in the world. No matter how great a catch you think you are, apparently they do not agree, have bad manner or are just not into you. Same goes for 'Thanks but not interested'. Leave it at that. Walk away and feel yourself better for the experience. If they are not into you the odds are that in time you would find you are not into them and that it was not a match of any kind.
- Fill out your bloody profile. Seriously. If your family is to attract anyone then you need to damned well flesh it out to show that there are real people behind it. Make yourself real to the people who may have an interest. Not just basics of age and number of kids. Give us some idea of who you are as people. Not your identity...do not be silly...who you are as a person, what makes you tick. What makes you fun or interesting. The same goes for the single ladies. What makes you lovable and able to mesh with an established family? This stuff is serious so give it some thought ladies and gents.
- Talk on the phone ASAP and most especially the woman must must must talk to each other. Whether you use a burner phone or Skype or some such make sure there is real and human contact not just text on some screen. Do it soon and make sure that there is no potential hose job on the part of a single woman (potential scams abound) and of a family (plenty of weirdos who do not have a wife playing games). Nobody needs to get conned so make sure you take precautions. If you are not imaginative enough to figure out how to manage initial contact without sacrificing your identity and safety then you genuinely are not thinking very hard. Another reason that the woman must talk early and often is that it does not matter whether a man and a new lady hit it off or not if the extant wife(s) do not approve of her. I do not give a damn what a book or religious figure told you about how it should be, people are not numbers you can plug into an equation and if you fail to listen to this warning then you will never know the harmony that you might have known.
- Do Not decide you are in love after a few emails and that you must have this person. Grow up a bit. This is about marriage and that is supposed to be forever. So don't go making an ass of yourself by falling for someone too quickly and turning into the creeper be you the single person or the family.
I will cut it short. There are Tonnes more things I could say but I will leave it for now. If people need guidance then for whatever my advice might be worth, I am available to talk to the seekers out there or just people wishing to understand the dynamic. We are all in this together.
Good luck out there.