Great Expectations

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Anonymous (not verified)
Great Expectations

Dear All, Our family has been living the plural marriage lifestyle for some time now. It has been a big blessing to all of us. What we have noticed, though, is that some women that are interested in this lifestyle have a lot of preconceived ideas about it and limited flexibility. One lesson we have learned is that having a successful poly marriage is all about flexibility and preconceived ideas don't seem last long. It is not about the individual but more about the family. As individuals sacrifice their own desires for the good of others a wonderful thing tends to happen...what they want gets fulfilled anyway and sometimes to an even greater degree than they imagined. A woman that is serious about becoming part of an established family needs to consider coming into that family with a heart to serve others. It is good to be very open minded and flexible. Truthfully, this seems to be one of the areas that hinder ladies, who are seeking to become part of a family, from doing so. Blessings, Justin

snowspell
Why Only Women?

Comment: 

While I agree that anyone in a poly relationship needs to be flexible I don't understand why this post was directed solely at women. Men need to be just as flexible to enter a healthy poly relationship. I don't think that having your own needs met need to be subsumed for the good of the relationship. What you need to do is understand the difference between 'needing' something and 'wanting' it. Needs shouldn't be ignored. Wants can be put on the back burner for a while in necessary.

Sage
Adjustments

Comment: 

Although it was some 30 years ago that I joined my plural family, i can say for sure, everyone one involved needs to be flexible, open, and honest. One thing... there are more women in a plural family than men! When you really think about it a heck of a lot more estrogen is flying around than testosterone :)

There is no one right way to do things. No one right way to define roles. One thing we found early on is you play to the strengthens each of us has and help the other grow through their weaknesses.

Cheers!
Sage

Sage
Wow - i Just Read The Whole Thread

Comment: 

So I don't see a lot of people coming to this site who don't have a desire to learn and express opinions. We are to love people where they are, not where we want them to be.

I commend people who have a desire to learn and live this. I don't condemn them for not doing it the way my family chose to live this some 30 years ago.

Harsh comments made in the heat of some perceived slight should be held and thought about for awhile before quickly put to paper - or this case type. We are all on a different path and none of us truly knows the others path.

Be kind. Exercise caution. We are all tender inside at some point and to run over each other seems like a self defeating behavior. Everyone here has some interest in plural marriage. It may not be your interest but it should be a common thread that ties us together not drives us apart.

thanks!