Are there any couples looking for a second wife who isn't Bisexual?

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cassam84
Are there any couples looking for a second wife who isn't Bisexual?

I have been searching for my soulmates for a couple of years now. I have dated a couple of couples and things ended for one reason or another. Lately in my search all I am finding are couples looking for a Bisexual new wife. I am not Bisexual and I don't have any sexual interest in women. Does anyone else have these issues? Is this what plural marriage is leaning towards? I'm feeling quite frustrated that couples are making it a "requirement" that I would want a sexual relationship with the wife. I totally understand to each their own...but where are all the non bisexual couples?!

Apostle
There are a lot of couples

Comment: 

That are seeking a wife that is not bisexual. You need to answer people when they private message you. Hard to take anyone serious that doesn't reply.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

noblequest
noblequest's picture
What you are seeing...

Comment: 

Is polyamory people spilling over on to more traditional marriage.

Personally I don't have issue with the folks who choose to do whatever it is that they choose to do within the bonds of their marriage. Their business and their problem while none of my concern or interest.The fact remains that most of the polyamory crowd are in essence coming from a swinger background and not the best fit in this specific environment. Kind of need to k ow your audience sort of thing.

Good luck in your search but do not fail to be very very cautious. There are some flat out predatory assholes here as well as some very good people. Make sure you know who you are talking to before moving forward.

Morality is your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules - RAH

cassam84
Appreciation

Comment: 

Thank you everyone for replying, I belive that polyamorous lifestyles are creeping in to the mix where finding a life partner should be. Nothing agaisnt anyone but plural marriage is supposed to be just that, about marriage and relationships..not a sex based agreement. 

As for not always replying to others...sometimes one just doesn't know what to say or feels the need to reply if someone unsuitable messages. Its online dating and for total strangers to be offended that a message written in 60 seconds or less was not replied to is silly.

Trucker
Truck drive

Comment: 

I am looking for a none bi sister wife the thing is I am looking for someone want to travel

Brian Parsons

Joleneakamama
Joleneakamama's picture
Not all want the bi dynamic

Comment: 

I know a potential sisterwife makin' eyes at me would be the absolute end of any relationship!
Those of us on this side of the issue just tend to be less outspoken about what we are specifically looking for.
I'm actually surprised (but thankful) some don't go in to greater detail, about things I'd rather not contemplate.

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes~

Pwpkep2009
Pwpkep2009's picture
No bi dynamic

Comment: 

i believe that people looking for the bi-dynamic need to look somewhere else. For those of us not looking for that, makes it hard to find what we are looking for due to the many triad seeking individuals/couples on here. 

Patrick and Kimi Perry

Garrison
must be busy

Comment: 

That's my conclusion if anyone doesn't reply, and that's fine.

Sometimes, trying to reply to everyone can be counter-productive.  Courtesy, and many other highly-regarded virtuous gestures, are things to be grateful for when you receive them, not demanded as your "right".

People who come in here, I would suppose, are choosing to defy some traditional rules or expectations of society, and maybe newbies on that kind of turf.  "Anything goes" can be somewhat troubling as an opener for new relationships, and accordingly, I think caution is prudent, and admirable.

Speaking from a religious point of view, prayer is a necessity for important decisions. . . . .

Garrison

cassam84
Interesting

Comment: 

Strange to me how some people get so upset over someone simply not responding to a message. If you don't hear back, then move on. I've had people send me several messages in a day or two and I don't have time to read all the messages I get every day so I reply when I can. If a couple gets mad because I haven't responded quickly enough or they haven't gotten a reply at all then they clearly aren't for me anyway.

To get back to the topic here. I feel that plural marriage isn't about sex. It's about looking for lifelong commited relationships. If a couple wants to make it a "requirement" that a sexual relationship between the wives happen then they really aren't looking for a long term commited relationship. I don't even want to talk about sex with a couple unless we are talking about yes kids or no kids. That type of conversation should be saved until much later in the relationship. I just wish more couples were focused on looking for a wife and not just a sexual companion.

Famman32
Famman32's picture
Completely agree.

Comment: 

I completely agree with you on this.  We have had quite a few young ladies respond to us and it was like all they wanted to do is dicuss the sexual side of everything; and when I said that I was in no way BI they wouldd get all upset like we were leading them on.  I honestly didn't think it would get so complicated when we started looking to add a sister wife to our family.  Just getting someone to tal about what they want in a marriage relationship outside of the bedroom is like pulling teeth.  I would just ove to find someone willing to talk like friends, before starting to discuss marrying my husband.  The idea of having a true friend for life to grow with would be great. 

 

 

Apostle
I find it interesting

Comment: 

All the people that comment on living polygamy that never have.  I also find it amazing how my children know that ignoring someone is not only rude and immature but adults make excuses for the rude behavior. 

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Beau Batchelor
Beau Batchelor's picture
complaining that they don't

Comment: 

complaining that they don't reply won't improve your appeal, but

noblequest
noblequest's picture
By the same token...

Comment: 

There are the ones that will message and right off the bat act like a full on creeper.

These are often the ones that will also message the woman that are taken or married and tell them how they don't think that they are in the right family and how there is such a great opportunity over here to hot rack with other woman or come live in someones basement and take care of their kids. All that this does is tell the woman that this is some degenerate cowardly creep and frequently when they will politely tell this creeper that they are not interested they get continued harassment from some of these weak betas that are willing to sniff around what belongs to another man.

I have met two of my ladies here and am quite friendly with others and I have seen tonnes of these messages from pestering idiots and have enjoyed a laugh with the ladies at the expense of these freaks.

The issue is not as one dimensional as some claim. Not by a wide margin.

I council the woman here to be very cautious of the predators here for very good reason.

Morality is your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules - RAH

atrueone
atrueone's picture
Give it time

Comment: 

Where we would love to find a heterosexual sister for Laurie, the truth is that it takes time to find a fit.  Laurie and I believe that it will happen if it is God's will. God's will is not instant nor can you alter it, so be patient.  If you wait for God to open the door it will work to your good and God's glory.

T. D. Bennett

kookaburra.
kookaburra.'s picture
Yes, I assume many. Everyone

Comment: 

Yes, I assume many. Everyone is different and their will always be people out there looking just as hard to find you as you are them- it just gets super frustrating sometimes when everyone seems to be everything except what you're looking for! My partner and I for example aren't to concerned eitherway we have always been of the opinon that what developed naturally was probably the best way to go.. So we'd be happy with either a bisexual partner or a hetrosexual partner. 
Good luck though  They have to be out there! hhehe
 

M. Hill

AZ_Blue
New Here

Comment: 

My wife and I are new to the idea of plural marriage.  We are not looking for a bisexual woman, but I do have to say that love comes in all kinds of packages.  Bisexuality is NOT a requirement or actually any part of our focus.  My wife is asexual, so the bi thing just doesnt fit.  Our focus is on strengthening the family and finding that special woman who I can spend the rest of my life with as a 2nd wife and a sister wife to my first.

LookingInPerth
LookingInPerth's picture
To be fair with the increase

Comment: 

To be fair with the increase in openess with the LGBT scene and it being less of an issue for those of us who are not interested in religion,  wanting a Bi partner is not a bad thing.  As a family who recently went to a "poly" meet up in which everyone other then us was polyamorus, even though we are interested in a Bi partner we felt out of place there since we are seeking the relationship and commitment but would prefer someone who is interested in living and exploring with both of us,  We do not believe that polygamy is just about a man and his harem,  and anyone who thinks less of us because we would prefer to have a partner who is interested in more then just the male side of the relationship sexually needs to have a good hard look at them selves in the mirror.  The relationship is what matters and we feel that having a partner who is not stricly hetro can lead to a more fulfilling relationship for all parties involved.  Yes we have had a partner who was hetro for a time and it was nice,  But since i am bi,  there is no reason that we cannot have the best of both worlds for everyone.

"insert funny comment here"

PaganJD
PaganJD's picture
bravo folks. bravissimo.

Comment: 

bravo folks. bravissimo.

Lili
"Now, if you are in a loving

Comment: 

"Now, if you are in a loving poly relationship and an intimate relationship develops between wives and all parties agree it is healthy, then that is no ones business. But, to put 'bi' as a requirement stretches things to self-centeredness and not really family oriented."

In this respect I agree with you, Serena. I find that placing a requirement on women that they are "bi" before you allow them to date you as a family is inappropriate. If you are looking for a wife, you should accept her as a friend and life companion to your wife first. Hell, maybe she really isn't interested in you as a husband either but only engages in a "romantic" relationship with you to create a family. Maybe she is only a friend and life companion to you as well. This should not detract from her importance or compatibility as a plural wife because while sex is an important part of marriage, the point of the family should not be swept aside.

Apostle
Coming from a biblical standpoint

Comment: 

if you are a Christian then bisexuality is according to scripture is not only wrong but an abomination before God. Now if you are not a bible believing man or woman of God then by all means engage in whatever hedonistic behaviour you desire. But for all the members on here why don't you keep the mention of your bedroom activities out of the ads?

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

TesFalcon
TesFalcon's picture
Please prove your statement.

Comment: 

1) Every reference to homosexual behavior in all of Scripture save one verse is exclusively male-male contact. The only verse referencing women w women (Rom 1) differentiates man-hating lesbians from bisexuals. The "shameful acts" are again spoken of men w men.

2) As soon as I declared us a poly household, the ONLY thing people wanted to talk about is my bedroom. The rudest & most gutteral comments were by fellow church members. They felt compelled to complain & insinuate immoral behavior when we were pregnant for the 5th+ time as a monogamous couple, & dug deeper for more dirt when we declared poly.

3) Sex is VERY good. God made it to be & BLESSED us w it. It's not a curse. Sex is how we become "one flesh", not babies. Paul only gives 1 reason to marry: "burn w physical passion". Otherwise, he encourages single people to be celibate.

You wanna talk about Christian celibacy?

Enjoy!
- TNF

Isabella
Bi required

Comment: 

I don't mind those looking for bi wives for their sex threesomes, just let's me know who to avoid.  At least they are open about it.

What annoys me are those pretending to be polygynous and after talking to them privately, you then find out that they want threesomes.

 

You know who you are.

TesFalcon
TesFalcon's picture
Not me but I'm confused.

Comment: 

You talk about polygyny (marriage of one man w multiple women) as though that mandates some specific sexual practice. How is having a threesome between husband & his wives NOT polygynous?

Enjoy!
- TNF

Isabella
My belief

Comment: 

I believe that people who have sex with each other changes their relationship.  So, either they are married to each other, then they have a marriage is not strictly polygynous or they are not married to each other, in which it is just messy.

However my point was that some people lie and they lie and then they try to bring it up later as a bait and switch.  

Most of us are not into that, personally I would feel more happier if they didn't get into Polygynous spaces because it is just more chaff that we have to wade through.

Apostle
I agree Isabella

Comment: 

You are spot on as usual.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Isabella
"As usual"???

Comment: 

Whaaaa?  Who are you?  And what have you done with the real Al?

B

 

Rock
HAHAHAH

Comment: 

thanks for the good laugh, Isabella, i needed it.

over the years, the idea of 'bi' and 'threesomes' has been talked to death here. ...and, lol, i' ve been one of the participants in those debates.

now...i just don't care.

i am not sure what to really 'judge' about a man sharing a bed with two of his wives. I would think it is safe to assume that David and Soloman did so. ...? I mean , how could you have time for hundreds of wives and concubines? LOL. I opine that we, in this time, are a bit melodramatic about such practices.

I see the subject as a very fine line of what is healthy and what is not healthy. What is conducive to spiritual evolution and what isn't. There are many types of 'sexual practice' in monogamy that certainly are not healthy as well.

My simple stance is that if the women get to liking each other 'too much' it NO DOUBT will destroy a healthy family unit. That is a very difficult and tedious nuance to put down in writing....and i really dont have the motivation to explain it. If people don't want to know what that means or how it is destructive, then to hell with em. HAHHAHAHA

Apostle
Yeah spot on

Comment: 

As far as your comments in this thread. LOL.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Garrison
good and evil

Comment: 

 

God ordained, according to the Bible in Genesis, the union of a man and woman with the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.

There was no condemnation for a man who will be responsible for his sexual union(s) unless the woman is already married, in which case he was committing adultery and condemned.  If he undertook to have sexual relations with an unmarried woman he was doing wrong unless he then took the role of marriage after that.  Still it was not just approved, unless he repented and lived out a lifelong "sentence" of marriage. 

In effect, a woman had the right to marriage to a man who had sex with her, and only if it was forced could she refuse the marriage, and demand other compensation.

In every line of events, it was wrong and a sin to commit sex without marriage, only it could be remedied by taking responsibility where there was not the condition of breaking a marriage vow.

It was the willingness to submit to God's laws that could make it right, and it was only right when the union God commanded was respected.  The Bible recognized that a man could choose to have another wife if he was going to be responsible, and not diminish the love and care rightfully due to the first or existing wives.  There was no statement requiring the consent of existing wife or wives, just the absolute expectation that their children be recognized in their rights including the right of the firstborn son, and that all the wives be served according to their rights as wives.  No abuse or neglect allowed.

In practice, few men in the Bible accounts failed to consider the feelings of their wife, often being reported as declining even when the law regarding widows and their right to be supported by the nearest male kin to her husband, and given children if she had none, applied.

All this libertine "We can do whatever we want" sort of thinking is just evil, because it gives no respect to God nor to the rights of those involved.

Garrison

Rock
garrison

Comment: 

Hey Garrison,

I enjoy your posts due to the fact you reference bibilical sources.

I have a few sincere questions.

What is the biblical definition of a concubine. How does she come to be one. What is her status ...her children's rights and status. God's viewpoint on concubines. Why is she a concubine and not a wife? Is a concubine a lifetime commitment or temporary? What are the obligations of the mans to a concubine? Why did Soloman for example have so many concubines? why were they not wives?

I would imagine that you have studied/pondered these questions and perhaps would be willing to give your point of view on the matter.

thanks,

Rock

Garrison
hey Rock

Comment: 

 

 

 

Good to hear from you.   No I've not studied the term concubine exhaustively.  I assume it means about the same in Chinese culture as Israelite culture, and refers to a class concept of not having some of the rights a wife would have, a sort of second-class consort.   Maybe some LDS "thinkers" believe a second or third wife does not have all the rights the first wife does. 

I don't see that distinction made in the Law of Moses, and I was basing on that, not Solomon.   Solomon is condemned by the writers of  I &II Kings and I &II Chronicles, and by Ezra, and I think some other post-captivity "prophets" for marrying women of the nations blacklisted in the Law, which incidentally matches the tribes listed as the descendents of Ham.  It was, I suppose, functional in some way.

Abraham and Hagar, who had been a servant and may have been more of "concubine" for whatever reason, parented Ishmael whom the Bible did not include in the Abrahamic covenant, but had a separate covenant to become a great people.

Isaac had Esau and Jacob.   Only Jacob was accounted as the  children of the promise.  Aside from supposed selling his birthright for a mess of potage, Esau married two Egyptian women.  Judah the son of Isaac married a Canaanite woman and is represented has having a very bad marriage, with that wife and her son coming to a tragic end.  HIs "covenant" children come from Tamar who was not outside the specifications of approved marriage, though she apparently had to trick Judah into giving her a decent consideration in her "rights" as a widow.

The one great thing about the Bible is how the stories are told without the full-on whitewash for everything......

We can hardly be sure what is an example of virtue and what is a representation of real people in their real character, though flawed.

Garrison

Rock
Concubines

Comment: 

Hmm. As I had recalled from previous (many years ago) study of the subject, there really isn't much written on what a 'concubine' is , as per the bible.

My personal deductions on the matter are that concubines, from a biblical point of view, were unions with women that were cared for by the man as a wife would be, but they were kept at 'arms length' from the 'legal family' because those women were not 'ready' to be wives.

Authority could not be given to these women because they would use it for selfish purposes and to protect their own fears.

in other words, their character was not 'mature'. ie, selfish, disruptive, untrustworthy, with high tendency to lie in order to cover up weakness and fear.

yet, they were chosen as concubines because they had MERIT to become more . So, basically, they were put into a 'lower school grade' to be educated by the experience, but not close enough to the family to be disruptive.

that's my short take on the subject.

I am curious as to whether the station of 'concubine' will become more practiced again when society breaks down and women no longer have the State/Fed to pay their way and take care of their children.

it does seem logical. Otherwise, how could a wise man make every woman under his care his Wife? Mixing dysfunctional women and functional women with equal authority would be a catastrophe for the entire household.

Can a capable man simply tell difficult women with children ,that are in need for a stable place, that they need to keep walking?

Garrison
Brigham's 27

Comment: 

Included women who were older, widows, and others who simply could not care for themselves, and were given with their assent some kind of security.  Brigham didn't call them "concubines" and the temple ordinance was the same.

nah, it strikes me that some of those notions you wonder about are just inventions of modern polygamist cults with knowitall leaders who see little reason to doubt their onmiscience while being pretty nonsensical. 

I'd prefer to just look to what we have in evidence from the cultures who used the word "concubine", which probably never will be the LDS Church nor was it in the older mainstream practice.  Even "spiritual wives" under the initial system got the same temple ordinances and were imagined to have an eternal prospect as a "wife".

Garrison

Apostle
My 2 cents worth

Comment: 

From my studies and understanding the difference between wife and concubine was pretty simple. Since the man was a king then only women of royal descent could be called a wife. A concubine simply meant she was a woman with no Royal lineage.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Rock
thanks for the two cents

Comment: 

I guess i'll have to dive into the subject to see what's what.

it would seem improbable that the hundreds of wives of Soloman were of noble descent, but...I can't determine that from the non-existant details in the bible.

just an off the cuff thought

as for Garrison's last comment:

It would appear that your response was a vague and emotional response rather than a considertion of the logic I set forth.

Garrison
non-religious

Comment: 

So I was wondering, so I checked which department this thread is in.  Right.  Non-religious.

ya know, having this element here probably doesn't really serve to make polygamy socially acceptable. I mean Hedonists won't really respect other peoples rights to believe in God any more than godly folk will ever really respect Hedonists.   Maybe when I start my own site I'll see if I can't just say my site is for bible-based religious families.  Do you think the hate police would shut us down?

I guessing the intention here is to decriminalize private choices in intimate relationships, maybe as a sort of trade-off with the devil or something.  lol.

So this is a philosophical comment about human nature.  We appear to be hard-wired to make up rules for behavior and belief.  Philosophers like Dostoyevsky have written volumes about the implications of not believing in God, namely to the effect that we either will sorta make gods of ourselves entitled to do whatever we want or can get away with, or we will put something else up front in our minds as being more or less the rule, which we will then expect others to reverence. 

ya know, like Nature, Science, Globalism, Animals, or Sex.

Narcissism, Hedonism. . . . .

Come, Lord Jesus.

Garrison

wingsangel28
you can contact me

Comment: 

i can take you as a wife my wife is not bisexual 

wingsangel28
ann arbor michigan

Msewell
Msewell's picture
yes

Comment: 

Yes it's that way in Oklahoma even when you say you aren't looking for that as soon as we start talking it leads to trying to hook up with her as well

SubRosa
I'm monogamous and

Comment: 

I'm monogamous and heterosexual. Hubby is polyamorous. We'd love to find a sister wife for me who isn't interested in me sexually! It seems that even the ladies these days who want a plural marriage will only accept if I'm bi, too. Sorry girls, not gonna happen. LoL 

Dannymelodye
Dannymelodye's picture
Looking for a non big sister wife

Comment: 

I get what you mean ... same thing for us but in reverse :) we have been looking for a while and feels like it's become a requirement melodyesue@gmail.com

Melodye Hannes

garyangle55
We understand

Comment: 

Hi. Becky& Gary here from W.Va. Nice to meet you. We understand how hard it is to find another lady that isn't bi. It's seem that they looking for a sex partener for there wife. If you like you can write and we can chat. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

TesFalcon
TesFalcon's picture
Girl wanted Asexual marriage.

Comment: 

That capital A was for emphasis. She asked if she "married" me would I expect to have sex w her. She wanted her own room & NO sexual contact w anyone.

Marriage = sex.
If you're wanting a relationship without sex, you're not wanting marriage.

Between wives is negotiable, but sex is still part of the relationship.

Enjoy!
- TNF

Apostle
TesFalcon what girl

Comment: 

Are you referring to? I don't see anything in this thread about being asexual.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

jimmyg
concubinage is common law marriage!

Comment: 

According to one dictionary "Concubine: a woman who cohabits with and is supported by a man without being married to him."  Thus in our time concubinage (common law marriage) is one of the most popular and prolific forms of marraige in society today. The sad part is some confuse concubinage with just living together in the short term. Concubinage had and has the same commitment as any other form of marraige! As an example if we live in a country where the law will not allow for a man to legaly marry two women at the same time, then the second wife is no less a wife and she has the same rights (even legally) as any other wife but her legal statis is that of common law wife (concubine). Please have a look at Genesis 25: 1 where Abraham came to have a wife named Keturah, now please have a look at 1Chronicles 1:32, here we have Keturah listed as Abrahams concubine. Same man, same woman same marital union just listed as both a wife and a concubine. As is the case with any wife, if the relationship is established with honor and total commitment then be she a legaly registed wife or a common law wife, she is still a wife and as such worthy of respect, recognition and dignity by her husband and espcialy by others .

LifeInCostaRica
LifeInCostaRica's picture
We understand the frustration...

Comment: 

It seems that there is quite a bit to get frustated about when trying to find the sister-wife who understands and wants to truly be a part of a Poly Family.  I'm no expert here...but I don't think in the past Polyamy had anything do to with the wife or sister-wife being BI???  If you are BI...I'm not judging you...that's your thing...but I don't think it's biblical either. 
We are looking for a sister wife that understand she has an equal part in the family and her equal time with the husband who is the head of our house. He loves us both equally, yet individually. My sister-wife is supposed to be my best friend (not sex partner, my sex partner is my husband) and we can enourge each other and enjoy having a wonderful family with lots of children if that  is what we agreed to. 
I also wonder why...if you are a couple or you are a single man or woman...IF YOU ARE SERIOUS,

WHY not post a picture???  
Why not reply...even if it is short.

I think some people believe that because you are on the internet....common sense and courtesy is thrown out the door.

Just my thoughts.

 

Life is what YOU make it. You can focus on the negative things of life...

OR...focus on those things that are Positive, the things that TAKE YOU in the direction YOU want to go.

Be Positive because God has GREAT things in store for YOU!

yobossman
yobossman's picture
Your ad

Comment: 

Hello, I am new to this web site, I just found it, if I log off I hope I can find it again.  I am new and I just found your ad, so to answer your question the best I can, I think most are just what you are finding, it is just about sex. 

I am an older male with deep feelings, yes I have a wife I have been with for around 20 years. She is not bi, she is very active in her church. She like you has no interest in sleeping with another woman. I always wanted a large family but it just did not come about. My loving wife had a medical issue about 15 or so years ago, I had told her about my feeling about polygamy so when she had the medical issue  and she could no longer have sex. She sent me out to find a second wife. The fear of finding a new person is so real, not easy to put into words. But by and by I did. I had a second wife for about 10 years, She after 10 years of us being together had a medical issue and I have lost her.  So I am looking again for a second wife.  We went places together but we did not advertize our being together so the world could talk about us. I don't know your back ground I would like to know about you.  I will tell you it is not always easy to spelting time and keep all happy, but I want this the the love and companyonship, not to see how many I can be with.  I find the happyness in working, playing, being together.  So if you write back I will learn about this web site, Please tell me why you are interested in polygamy. thank's Stan

yobossman