A question of perfection

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Anonymous (not verified)
A question of perfection

So...just a short quick question..... When it comes to choosing a sister wife for your family (regardless of what number wife it is)...do you believe that there is just one perfect fit for the position....or many who would join and make the fit be perfect? meaning - is there just the one person out there destined to become the first wife....and just one who will become the second wife....and so on....or can you make it work with almost anyone?? Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas....be them religious reasons, or not, would still love to hear them! Thanks in advance! Sam

Joleneakamama's picture
My two cents worth


Short quick question? Yes. But not quite as quick or easy to answer.
I can only speak for myself. And this is the short version.
I believe in a God that knows the end from the beginning. This means he knew and continues to know the outcome of choices I have yet to even be faced with or contemplate.
This is a comfort to me.
I have also noticed that what you are looking for is ALWAYS in the last place you look. :)
As far as the other part of the question about if there is one, only one, or whatever. I will have to see what life has in store before I will know for myself the answers to those for my life. I won't even PRETEND to know for other people.


There is a principle proof against all argument. A ban against all progress which if persisted in cannot but keep the mind in everlasting ignorance, and that is contempt prior to examination.

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes~

The perfect one


I agree - go ahead and make a list of "requirements" of the perfect lady to add to your family. If nothing else you will find it entertaining to look at when God actually does send someone your way!

When you choose your own agenda you miss out on the Blessings God actually has planned for you which are so much better than anything you could have imagined for yourself.

I believe that if you decide polygyny is for you and you are going to pursue it wholeheartedly, but God does not have it in store for you, then anything you attempt to put together will fall apart. Conversely if God does have it in store for you, then when you least expect it from the least expected source you will find someone. Maybe a better idea is to take what you would like before God and pray about it and then wait to see where God leads you?

(AKA Eternitee)

babe (not verified)
idolatry or service


Your question is a common one, and many folks go looking for someone to match their ideals somehow. . . . almost nobody will have absolutely no pre-set "requirements".

And almost(lol) nobody is perfect themselves. . . .

kids pose pretty much the same situation, when they come. . . . will they be anything like you want them to be???? Or are you just going to accept them and do your best to move forward, with them in your life. . . . ? Yes, you do get to negotiate along the way, both with other people in your family, and with God, trying to "get along". moving in the direction of the good. . .

I like the other comments in here. Real people have ideals, and also have some notions of their own abilities to function with others, and may just find it too difficult in most cases. . . . and I think that's legitimate. There are lots of "choices" you could make that will simply just prove not to be very good.

So, like everything else in life, it comes to a matter of faith in God, and the godly walk of faith, with plenty of prayer, and the hope for some guidance from God.

It's a scripture, I can't remember it's reference verse. . . . "They labor in vain who build a house, save God build it."

How good things turn out depend a lot on our willingness to "let God build it".

I like to fancy the religious principle as the patriarchs of the Bible, who were fairly imperfect in certain respects, who indeed honored God in their families and through a lot of fairly understandable difficulties and shortcomings, nevertheless were the men and women whom God used to build Israel. I also like to think all the Christian ideals of service and devotion to God outweigh our notions of "ideal" in terms of personality and personal characteristics.



Psalm 127:1 or I corinthians 15:58

I used Biblegateway.com to do a keyword search - it is a great resource. I remember that it "says it somewhere" but can never remember where so I use the feature a lot.

(AKA Eternitee)

2inlove's picture
Do you really want perfection?


Isn't part of the human experience, the growing and evolving? If you had someone perfect, would you be able to do so?

That was a rhetorical question.

I don't believe there is a perfect fit out there. We as humans, all have our quirks and idiosyncracies and these are the elements that help define us. You would find some qualities that are similar to yours or complement you, but I don't think you would be able to find someone that matches you a 100%. I think the best we can do is have a general idea of what you're looking in a partner and know what sort of personality traits are the ones that fit our household. But once again, none of this is written in stone and subject to change if you meet someone who clicks with you nicely.

Example, we as a family are carnivores, we love a good bbq or a nicely grilled steak. I (the hubby), if I were single, would not necessarily go out to meet a person who has chosen a vegan lifestyle. It doesn't mean, that if I met someone who was and made me feel happy and fulfilled, that I would ignore them. The same principle applies in our search for a good sisterwife.

On a side note, while I understand the need to classify plural spouses as primary and secondary, its a title that we're not too keen on. In our home, a wife is a wife. Primary and secondary only applies in determining whom I married first.

Just my thoughts.

Stable, secure, and happily married couple looking for that special lady to join us on the next phase of our life.