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Anonymous (not verified)
people

hello there are a few things i am seeing on here 1 unless your actualy a single woman your not going to ger a responce at all 2 no one ever just pops in to say hey to some people 3 not many people will respond to an email or a post i have messaged people not just loooking for them to join me in my life as a sister wife but as friends is it so hard for people to actualy have respect for another i am starting to think so yes granted i have chatted with 3 or 4 great people and in hope to have made some good friends i do know i live far or outside the us i am not asking for somone to leave all i am asking is for friendship and the same respect you would want back if your not interested at all just say it and not leave a person hanging and if you all are emailing and you say i am busy thins week and cant email you right away well when you have time is fine but after 3 weeks or so and nothing a person starts to wonder what they have done wrong was there things said and such for real how hard is it to simply have the same respect you want to be the same to another crystal

Melchat
Sorry to read your having a

Comment: 

Sorry to read your having a rough time on here. And just wanted to say HI

blitziod2002
blitziod2002's picture
mel

Comment: 

contact my wife and I if you want to know more

tcgauvin7582 (not verified)
i am shocked to see that my

Comment: 

i am shocked to see that my topic have sprung out like this i was upset at how the people with whom i myself have seen on and tryed to say hi to would not even respectivly say somthing back but instead it has turned about religion and politics but people have the right to have their voice herd yes but there was not a mention of it i see people post things saying friendships and such i and with my hubby at my side have tryed to chat with people on a number of times from what i am seeing is no one has respect for no one
and the reason people think that poly life is bad is because all they can find out about it is the bad stuff like with life in the compounds scamming off the system the child brides and such how the men rape and beat the wives i knew about polyigamy as a teen and i was interested then as i grew i learned more people are people and have rights that the government takes away from us all it is not just in the us but canada too i was told that the legal system has nothing to do with church but it does yes i belive in god and belive that others have their own religons and such but i dont think it should have things to do with the legal system i am also guessing that there is more people in the poly life there any other style kody brown and his wives give us all a good name it is the compounds that give it the bad like warren jeffs and the bountiful in bc canada this is the bad points but i am sure there are good as well

David
Surely we are not all that bad.

Comment: 

I have been helping run this site for over 8 years. Surely the people here are more friendly than you are making them out to be. Some of the friendships between the regulars here go back over 10 years and continue on to this day. I have met in person 3 people I have met first on this site, and could have met many more. I find the people who come here and actually stick around to be very friendly and talkative people. It may be true that this site brings in a lot of couples who are only interested in seeking another wife and don't venture out of that paradigm much, but for the friendships I have made here, I value them greatly. I disagree, this site is a wonderful place to talk to folks and build some lasting friendships.

Natja (not verified)
Friendship

Comment: 

I don't know about the OP, but I was referring to the community as a whole. And I feel, although there are plentiful exceptions (I have quite a few friends in the Poly community I would happily welcome into my home) there is no denying that some seeking people do snub platonic friendships and whereas I don't think that is a problem in regular mono online dating but in Poly we need all the support we can get.

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

David
Well

Comment: 

It is easy to forget that polygamy is a felony in the USA. Not sure about elsewhere, but you *could* end up spending 5 years in federal prison on bigamy charges. Not only that, but this lifestyle can bring out some strange people who are more in the business of wrecking families than building up their own. While I do agree that community is important, I don't blame people one smidgen for being secretive, reclusive, and closed off about their personal lives when it comes to this lifestyle. Especially poly families in Utah, where the most persecution of the lifestyle has taken place.

Utah even has an anti-polygamy clause in its state constitution.

http://le.utah.gov/code/CONST/htm/00I03_000100.htm

It is not just about gaining rights, it is about decriminalizing something that the government should have no business writing laws about.

Natja (not verified)
True

Comment: 

The Anti-polygamy laws in the US are specifically designed to prosecute those who are not actually breaking the traditional bigamy laws. Since Mormon Polygamy is not a tradition outside of the USA we don't tend to have laws against Multi adult relationship in general.

To be fair though Mormon fundamentalists have a religious imperative to live polygamously, they are prepared to be secret because their religion compels them and it comes before the will of the State.
I personally feel that unless that is the case and considering even in Anti-Polygamy States people who define as Polyamorist do not tend to get the same hassle, I say it is better to be open and reject the closet than choose a lifestyle that you have no expectation of living openly.

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

David
Hmmm

Comment: 

"The Anti-polygamy laws in the US are specifically designed to prosecute those who are not actually breaking the traditional bigamy laws"

The anti-polygamy laws in the US were designed to go after Mormons in the late 19th century and early - mid 20th century. This included the Morrill Act, and the more specific Edmund's Act.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morrill_Anti-Bigamy_Act

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmunds_Act

These "acts" in no way target "only" fundamentalist Mormons. While they were designed to, anyone breaking those laws is subject to the penalty. Mormon or not. The majority of the members on this site are American.

They are still being used to this end to this very day. Aside from the other wrong things Jeff's was doing, his charge list included Bigamy - a felony.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/53201736-78/jeffs-prison-texas-trial.h...

"they are prepared to be secret because their religion compels them and it comes before the will of the State."

While it is a staple of our faith, and we are compelled to live it, NO fundamentalist Mormon would "prefer" to live it secretly. They live it secretly because the US Government cracked down on the LDS church and fundamentalist groups in the early and mid 1900's breaking up thousands of families, sending the husbands to prison, and their kids to foster care. They are compelled to live it secretly because of fear.

Polyamory is also broad brush and covers a lot of relationship styles that this site has nothing to do with.

"The focus of this site is Polygyny (one man having more than one wife). We welcome all to join in civil dialog, exchange of ideas, and friendship in regards to the positive support and advancement of polygamy / polygyny."

"I say it is better to be open and reject the closet than choose a lifestyle that you have no expectation of living openly."

Arguing for spites sake, it is easy to say that when you don't have to fear someone breaking in your house and taking your kids away. The majority of the polygamists in the USA are Mormon Fundamentalists by far, and they have been made an example to the rest of the country via popular media. It is not surprise to me at all after being raised in a poly family that people tend to be secretive about it weather they are Mormon or not. It is clear that problems can arise if you open up. We (USA) live in a very Judeao Christian country, and polygamy is looked at as a sin, disgusting, and people will make your life a living hell if they find out you live that way. Why would someone want to open up, risk losing jobs, kids, property, when they can just keep it a secret and avoid all of that. I fully understand why people who come here stay secretive or don't come out of the closet as I was raised that way. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Natja (not verified)
Breaking the cycle

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>While it is a staple of our faith, and we are compelled to live it, NO fundamentalist Mormon would "prefer" to live it secretly.

I did not say that and I know enough to know this is not the case, I just meant that Mormon Polygamists would break the law rather than give up their religious rights.
As a tenant of the faith I understand and support that right.
What I was actually saying is I do not understand people who wish to enter into Polygamy for lifestyle reasons doing it when they do not have the ability to be open.
Living in secret is not an enticing thing for any woman.

>Polyamory is also broad brush and covers a lot of relationship styles that this site has nothing to do with.

Thank you for pointing that out, I was actually aware of that tho, my point was the State takes issue with not the form of Polygamy but the ideology of it, I do not agree with this semantics argument but still, it is not necessary, if you are non fundamentalist Mormon to use Mormon terminology since you may be (unnecessarily) setting yourself up for avoidable discrimination and persecution.

Whilst many Mormon Polygamists are used to hiding this is less a problem in non Polygamist orientated communities and I actually have seen very promising things come out of the polyamory community including people who structurally have a relationship indistinguishable from Polygamy.

In other words a man who claims to live with his two partners in a Poly-fidelitous vee is less likely to come a cropper, even in anti-polygamous States, than someone claiming to live with his two wives in plural marriage.

And yes, Mormon Polygamists have, and do, get persecuted by the States' antiquated Anti laws but not everyone going into Polygamy is Mormon, some are more mainstream Christian and some are secular, why should they use F-Mormon Polygamy as a template? They may find they have less need to worry since these anti-Polygamy laws are almost entirely designed to prevent Mormon Polygamy and actually no one gives a toss what non Mormons do?

In other words they are unnecessarily fearful but more importantly, why even choose to do this (since it is not a tenant of your faith) if you do not have the ability to be open? There is not religious compulsion, in fact most of us choose Poly before we even practice it so considering that this is a lifestyle choice, unnecessary for spiritual reasons, why choose to live a life so vilified and in secret if not compelled to do so?

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

David
Cycle?

Comment: 

"What I was actually saying is I do not understand people who wish to enter into Polygamy for lifestyle reasons doing it when they do not have the ability to be open.
Living in secret is not an enticing thing for any woman."

Again, I was just pointing out that most people here in the USA would not prefer that, they are forced into it because so many people in the USA are anti-polygamy.

"Thank you for pointing that out, I was actually aware of that tho, my point was the State takes issue with not the form of Polygamy but the ideology of it, I do not agree with this semantics argument but still, it is not necessary, if you are non fundamentalist Mormon to use Mormon terminology since you may be (unnecessarily) setting yourself up for avoidable discrimination and persecution."

This is not "Mormon terminology". It is simple definitions. Polygamy = many loves. Polyandry = 1 woman, multiple men, Polygyny = 1 man, multiple women. Polyamory has all sorts of connotations to it that can involve everything from couples that are open to other couples, or one member of a couple (man or women) open to sleeping with other people while actively engaged with their own relationship. So yes, we felt it very important to define what this site was about (F-Mormon owned and operated) as to dispel any confusion that would lead people who are into those sorts of relationships to set up camp here and seek it in our membership. This does not unnecessarily set us up for anything other than making sure people understand that the dedication and purpose, mission and idea, behind this website was to bring people who are interested in the "Very specific" form of polygamy called polygyny together to discuss and share ideas / information about that very specific relationship. The practice of one man having multiple wives. This is not a site dedicated to any of the other diverse forms of polygamy / polyamory that exist out there and we would not like to be affiliated with them in any way.

"Whilst many Mormon Polygamists are used to hiding this is less a problem in non Polygamist orientated communities and I actually have seen very promising things come out of the polyamory community including people who structurally have a relationship indistinguishable from Polygamy."

You may have meant "indistinguishable from Polygyny" as we pointed out "Polygamy" is a very diverse term.

"And yes, Mormon Polygamists have, and do, get persecuted by the States' antiquated Anti laws but not everyone going into Polygamy is Mormon, some are more mainstream Christian and some are secular, why should they use F-Mormon Polygamy as a template? They may find they have less need to worry since these anti-Polygamy laws are almost entirely designed to prevent Mormon Polygamy and actually no one gives a toss what non Mormons do?"

I did mention that I understand that not everyone going into Polygyny is Mormon. Unfortunately whether they like it or not, they have to deal with anti-polygamy laws that were created to target Mormons. Nobody is saying that they "Have" to use anything as a "template". I am just pointing out that the entire purpose of this site is dedicated to the very pre-Mormon idea of Polygyny and NOT to any of the other diverse forms of Polygamy out there. I am still not sure if I am gathering what you define "Mormon" polygamy as. Mormon polygamy is the practice of one, usually patriarchal man, marrying multiple women who are faithful to him. While this was made popular in the USA by Mormons, it is a practice that goes back thousands of years and was hardly invented by Mormons. So I find it hard to see it as "Mormon Polygamy". This is simply polygyny, and it is exactly what the anti-polygamy laws were designed to target. This has nothing at all to do with religion, it is a very specific type of relationship that is easily distinguishable form other types of polygamy and polyamory that exist.

"In other words a man who claims to live with his two partners in a Poly-fidelitous vee is less likely to come a cropper, even in anti-polygamous States, than someone claiming to live with his two wives in plural marriage."

So you are living polygyny and denying it. That is a form of hiding is it not? What is the difference? Marrying multiple women, or living with them, then calling it something other than polygamy? It is still a very discernible form of polygamy and I hardly think people will be more accepting of it just because you call it something else.

"In other words they are unnecessarily fearful but more importantly, why even choose to do this (since it is not a tenant of your faith) if you do not have the ability to be open? There is not religious compulsion, in fact most of us choose Poly before we even practice it so considering that this is a lifestyle choice, unnecessary for spiritual reasons, why choose to live a life so vilified and in secret if not compelled to do so?"

I don't really feel compelled to answer that question as I am not doing it for non-religious reasons. Nobody says anyone has to do it this way or that way. I am just pointing out, once again, the possible reasons that people tend to be reclusive and closed off. I fear that society is not as "progressive" as you would like it to be. Here in the States, we have a lot of anti-polygamist people that could care less what your religious sympathies are. They will seek to cause you grief based on your relationship choices, not just your religion.

Natja (not verified)
Clarification

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David I am sorry you are incorrect, the root word -gamous means marriage, Polygamy therefore means multiple marriage and although usually used interchangeably with Polygyny it can actually pertain to either gender.
Poly-amory actually means many loves. And yes, it can have multiple configurations which is why I was careful to use the term 'Polyfidelous vee' which is Poly-fi is a term used to mean long term, closed poly relationships and some non religious people seeking a woman to join their family often use the term interchangeably with Polygamy depending on which site they use.

>So yes, we felt it very important to define what this site was about (F-Mormon owned and operated) as to dispel any confusion that would lead people who are into those sorts of relationships to set up camp here and seek it in our membership

I am not sure why you assume I am out to get you to change your remit David, as I wrote before I am aware of that, I am not asking you to change anything, I am talking about definitions non Mormon, secular people use when seeking this lifestyle and especially, how to live this lifestyle peacefully.

>Nobody is saying that they "Have" to use anything as a "template".

David I think you are assuming I am accusing you, rather than just talking about stuff people do. I am not attacking you or your ideals so please do not be so defensive.

Anti-Mormon laws affect everyone, in fact the latest 'Poly in the news' article says just that about a Poly MFM vee in Vancouver, however, the Court made it clear that they were not interested in people who identified as Polyamorists. Since Polyamorist identified people can easily be structurally Polygynous it seems a commonsense practicality for non-Mormons to use Poly-fi instead of Polygamy. Not that I feel people should 'have to' though. It was just an idea.

>hardly invented by Mormons.

I know this David, however the American anti-polygamy laws were designed to target Mormons, not to target Arabs, not to target Africans, not to target Sephardi Jews, it was to target Mormons, in fact one of the arguments used at the time against the Mormon practice was that Polygamy is associated with non white barbaric peoples.....as one of your articles on this site points out so very clearly.
I am pretty clear about what I mean when I write Mormon Polygamy and that is the principle of plural marriage as defined by Joseph Smith, rather than defined by Traditional African religion or the Sunnah.

>So you are living polygyny and denying it

No, you are living in a Poly-fi vee. It just happens to be the same thing isn't it?

>I hardly think people will be more accepting of it just because you call it something else.

Actually, people (in general) are. As I said, people tend to have more of a problem with the (religious) patriarchal ideology than the structure. That is not to say Polyamorists are home free, they experience social sanctions also, but less legal problems since they do not purport to be married. However adultery laws target any person practising a non monogamy lifestyle. As with anything, it depends on where you live but since there is actually a pretty active Polyamory scene in SLC...it is something to think about.

>They will seek to cause you grief based on your relationship choices, not just your religion.

Do you honestly think I do not know this? I spent half my life in the States and I would bet I know as much about the American legal system as many average Americans. I am well aware we are more liberal in Europe and we do not have anti polygamy laws but neither do quite a few States in the US. Many (but not all obviously) people choose to be closeted not out of legal fears but fear of social sanctions.

Besides the small polyamory definition I don't disagree with the bulk of what you wrote David, except the fact that you seemed to take most of my answer as a slight against yourself
or Mormon fundamentalism. It is not, I am fully supportive of Mormon Fundamentalists and their right to live freely and without persecution. As I am about people of other faiths and no faith who want to live Polygamously, my questions are more to do with semantics and questioning motives and not an attack on any practice or faith.

Please keep that in mind when you reply to me as I am a pretty blunt speaking woman and I would hate for you to get offended unnecessarily.

To clarify my last paragraph.

Many swinger couples and 'open' people maintain couple privilege by choosing a form of non-Monogamy which makes their marital relationship primary above all others. Mormon Polygamists have their faith to validate their marriages, they do not need the State, ditto some Christians and Muslims. I am questioning the secular types, who purport to want a equal Polygamy marriage, how they expect to maintain equality whilst living in the closet thereby maintaining couple privilege?

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

David
Mud

Comment: 

"David I am sorry you are incorrect, the root word -gamous means marriage..."

I apologize, I was typing that at light speed and mixed up the two. I appreciate you putting effort into that clarification that has no change at all on the point I was making.

"I am not sure why you assume I am out to get you to change your remit David, as I wrote before I am aware of that, I am not asking you to change anything, I am talking about definitions non Mormon, secular people use when seeking this lifestyle and especially, how to live this lifestyle peacefully."

First of all, I don't think you are out to get me to "change our remit". Even if that was your agenda, it would be futile at best. I am simply responding to some of your assertions that I find quite outlandish, it is nothing personal, so please don't make it personal. If you are going to post ideas on our forums in the "endless debate and whining" area, please be prepared to get some debate where someone feels debate is due.

"Those secular, non-Mormon polygamist are also living polygyny. Again, this is a simple definition that I demonstrated predates Mormonism by quite some time."

We tend to get people here who are into all sorts of strange relationship types that have nothing to do with the purpose / mission of this site an I like to make sure those people are not confused about that mission / topic. You can rename polygamy and give it as many new-age connotations you want but people will still identify it as polygamy.

You seem to be quite disconnected with how things are here in the USA

"David I think you are assuming I am accusing you, rather than just talking about stuff people do. I am not attacking you or your ideals so please do not be so defensive."

Okay, again. I am just disagreeing with you. I am not sure where you find that I think you are accusing me of something, or what that something may be. I am just out to clarify my position and understanding of these topics.

"I am pretty clear about what I mean when I write Mormon Polygamy and that is the principle of plural marriage as defined by Joseph Smith, rather than defined by Traditional African religion or the Sunnah."

Okay, I am not sure what place this has in the topic of discussion. Not to lose complete track here, but we are talking about why people tend to be reclusive when it comes to this lifestyle. I am simply tossing out some reasons for that behavior. You are attempting to redefine an entire culture and put people under the umbrella of polyamory that probably want none of the connotations that term has associated with it. The bottom line is regardless of religious convictions, the definable practice has to do with someone having multiple spouses on a permanent basis. This has had a definition for thousands of years and coming in with some more modern set of definitions will not change the public's perceptions about the marriage. If you can provide some data that says otherwise, I am all eyes.

I personally think the only way to change perceptions, if this is now what this conversation has become, is more families like the Browns opening up to the public and letting people see they are not bad people, and for the people with resources to do so, to bring suit against the state and federal government.

This is not just a Mormon issue and renaming it wont make it a non-Mormon issue. That would be wishful thinking at best. Look at proposition 10 for instance. The mainstream LDS church undertook to make marriage between "one man, and one woman". This was to put an end to gay marriage in the state. It was also endorsed by the Pope who recently came out with a statement also defining marriage between "one man, and one woman". This is not just an affront to gay marriage, it is a Judeao Christian affront to all poly relationships that would ever gain ground in the battleground of the courts. Simply changing the name to "polyamouous poly fi vee" whatever will not change the fact that this is the fundamental stance of most of the Judeao Christians in the United States. They could care less what reason you are living plural, they are against the practice, not the "logic". I think it is important to make sure people understand that the practice of polygyny has been one of the most prevalent and long lived forms of polygamy that has also been the most culturally accepted in multiple cultures across the globe for thousands of years. Most of the other forms poly are shunned by people who would identify themselves as the specific polygynist.

"No, you are living in a Poly-fi vee. It just happens to be the same thing isn't it?"

Again, I don't get the point in renaming it lol. You are still acting like F-Mormons are the only ones that use the word polygamy and are persecuted because of it. They were given that term because that is the definition that fits the lifestyle they are living. If you want to call an apple a pear and think that will change peoples perceptions about the fruit, again, wishful thinking.

"Europe and we do not have anti polygamy laws but neither do quite a few States in the US. Many (but not all obviously) people choose to be closeted not out of legal fears but fear of social sanctions."

You may be getting confused about the difference between federal government and state government. The anti-polygamy laws are on the federal level. They are above the state.

"Besides the small polyamory definition I don't disagree with the bulk of what you wrote David, except the fact that you seemed to take most of my answer as a slight against yourself or Mormon fundamentalism. It is not, I am fully supportive of Mormon Fundamentalists and their right to live freely and without persecution. As I am about people of other faiths and no faith who want to live Polygamously, my questions are more to do with semantics and questioning motives and not an attack on any practice or faith. "

Okay, to clarify again. I am not taking what you are writing personally. I am disagreeing with some of the assertions you have made.

"Many swinger couples and 'open' people maintain couple privilege by choosing a form of non-Monogamy which makes their marital relationship primary above all others. Mormon Polygamists have their faith to validate their marriages, they do not need the State, ditto some Christians and Muslims. I am questioning the secular types, who purport to want a equal Polygamy marriage, how they expect to maintain equality whilst living in the closet thereby maintaining couple privilege?"

That is great that swingers and open couples still value their marriages, but again, this site has nothing to do with those people or their choice of relationship type. While some of them may fall under the umbrella of polygyny (and are welcome to come here), the majority of them do not.

Validation of marriage is not something that anyone should "need" from the state, religious or not. Sure we F-Mormons have a validation on the grounds of our faith, but the majority of us would love to also have state rights. F-Mormons don't enjoy having to hide their lifestyle more than any other polygamist. This should be made clear by the fact that most of the suits brought against the state / government have been waged by F-Mormons. You are almost making the assumption that F-Mormons, and other religious types, could care less about law and state rights, or that they are fine with having none while this more "progressive" movement seeks them. This again is something I completely disagree with and has been shown not to be true.

I think that many people would agree that living in the closet is not the answer to anything and I am not defending that in the least. I am pointing out the conditions that lead to this sort of behavior, and why it is so prevalent. Secular groups deserve no more rights than religious groups and to think that you will separate the secular practice of polygamy from the religious by giving it a different name is again, wishful thinking, in my mind. If you all make progress on that, let me know though. I may be tempted to start renaming a lot of other things.

Most of the poly people that make it to this site are also of the religious variety and don't want to be associated in any way, shape, or form, with the other more diverse forms of open couples that exist out there. Tossing out new definitions that put them under the umbrella of practices that often involve group sex, and BDSM, just adds confusion to an already confusing subject. The purpose of this site is to bring together people who support "polygyny" and make it a place of discussion for those specific people. There are many other sites on the web that provide discussion boards for people who are into the more open marriages.

So while you can give progressive more secular movements new names for polygyny, I want to make it clear that this site has nothing to do with anything other than the practice of one man, having multiple wives, for whatever reason.

Natja (not verified)
Wow

Comment: 

You know what, I could not even read the bulk of what you wrote, since it is entirely circular. You seem to insist on trying to make this into a debate where none exists and seriously, I haven't the inclination to bother so good luck to you but I have had enough.

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

David
Linear

Comment: 

I thought it was rather linear actually. Made some clear points and expressed some clear opinions, and disagreed with you on a few assertions. The argument was also very clear and supported. I apologize if you are not the only long winded person on the site, I type rather fast and am fairly good at expressing my thoughts.

Adios.

tcgauvin7582 (not verified)
i have never said i was not

Comment: 

i have never said i was not looking for a sister wife and friend for me and a second for hubby but more on the fact that we are looking for more then a wife but more friends whom can tell us more on poly life as we are new to it all not new to the site but the life friends are a gift and yes with i have also talked to a few couples and yes it was great to make a friendship with them but i have messaged like 50 to 60 people and got a responce 1 or 2 times out of them numbers i was not asking for nothing more then friendship i was respectful to them in the message is they were simply not interested then the respectful thing would have been to say sorry not interested we also have not asked with in the looking part for somone outside of canada because we can not move ourselves so we could not ask for somone to move for us we would not want to have them missing friends and family and getting home sick and such so asking for friendships and being able to ask questions and learn from others is not wrong at all but what is the lack of respect people have for others it makes one wonder yes we are new to this life no we are not new to the site but have we been on every day yes some times but there was a time we did not come on at all with work yes if i was to get a message it may take me a day or 2 to get back to you but it has been months and still no responce from my messages to people but they say one thing and do another how is that do they not like getting respect from people one is to give what they get and not give nothing even if they are getting

KeithTent (not verified)
Hi Mel

Comment: 

I've seen your profile a few times, but never see you around so figured I'd just stop here and say hi.

tcgauvin7582 (not verified)
hello back ya i pop on when

Comment: 

hello back ya i pop on when i can just gets flustering seeing all the gamers on here

Sage
Gamers

Comment: 

I am not sure where you are going to find a site that does not have "gamers" on it. We try to manage this site and keep it open, for free, for people to share ideas. A few of us spend untold hours running this site and keeping the spammers off, and yes, once in awhile they do get by. I seriously thank the few members here to take the time to let me know when someone is totally out of line (which we had recently) or posting spam.

The basis of this site was never dating, or anyone finding a mate, sisterwife, or otherwise. This site was set up to catalog the legal struggles, the media coverage, and attempt to bring plural marriage to a more "open" place.

Secondly, it was specifically set up as a place to share information that for many years could only be found in one bookshop in Salt Lake City.

I have never encouraged members to respond to any communication, email or otherwise, they are not comfortable with. Members are also under no obligation to respond.

Plural marriage is still a felony in some states but illegal in all, punishable by loosing your family and five years in jail so I would encourage all members to exercise caution when answering emails or giving out personal information.

On a final note, I have been chatting with some members here since the late 1990's. I have made good friends in this journey and feel we have a great group of core people here.

Sage

Hand Of Gold
here here, my good chap(ette)

Comment: 

Just thought this post needs an amen.

Carl

KeithTent (not verified)
hard to ignore em

Comment: 

Ha, it is hard to ignore the fakes and scammers, but sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. Been lucky to make more friends than having to deal with the games. Have a fun weekend

tcgauvin7582 (not verified)
oh for sure i have chatted

Comment: 

oh for sure i have chatted to a few great people infact we still chat today it is just commin respect for others thats lacking everyone wants respect but at the same time you have to give alittle to get alittle back yes like others we are looking for love but not only that to learn more about how we want to live and to learn is to talk to others whom share the life we want to have making friends weather it be in the same country or another there are so many things we all can take from one another and pass on i have found this site to be a good one i just dont care for the lack of respect

BrotherD
I haven't been on here very

Comment: 

I haven't been on here very long, but I have also messaged families for the sake of community and fellowship and have been met with total silence.

tcgauvin7582 (not verified)
yes i dont see what is so

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yes i dont see what is so wrong with somone sending a post or an email i see lots of people looking just for friendships and some looking for love and a family but see that people dont like to respond to others i just dont get it at all does anyone have respect anymore from what i am seeing not sorry took me a bit to get back on i moved and with the move comes packing the move and then the unpacking and trying to do all this while working nights still ahh my what to do what to do

thanks to all who responded yes it is hard but still hoping to find love and friendship and hoping people will open their eyes and have some respect for others

therecanonlybe3 (not verified)
Well, I'm sorry that has happened.

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Bu its possible that a lot of poly families are very busy. I know in our home we are busy for our own reasons and there are plenty of ways these homes are busy. Don't be to hard on them. I don't think they mean to be rude or forget you. Its just that life has many challenges, and then add being poly to it, and if you have children......ell now your deep in the poo-poo. I would love to talk to you, regardless of intrest in our family. I will answer anything you like. But from time to time, my internet use will get scarce.
LIfe is just crazy. We just moved from NY state to Duluth/Superior twin city area. We're still settling in. But I will do my best not to leave you hanging.

Natja (not verified)
Me too....

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I contacted a whole bunch of people to ask if they would like to meet up for Poly chat and a group meeting and I only received about 30% reply. (All had read though) out of that at least one person replied just to tell me it 'was not what they were looking for' ie since I am not what they seek, they will not waste their time in my company.
You DO actually get that all the time in this scene, people are so focused on achieving their goals they forget that none of us exist in a vacuum and community support and advice is paramount for continuing healthy relationships. The arrogance of so many seekers amazes me.

Cenogomists unite!! ;o))

Tina
Lack of response

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I do not want strangers having my personal e-mail. That is why my profile quite clearly states that I will NOT respond to random e-mails sent by people I do not know. I added the comment because I did not want people to be insulted when I ignored them. I am not being rude, I am just preserving my privacy. I have responded to people and given them my e-mail address/yahoo messenger address as and when I get to know them enough to trust that they are not going to be abusive with my personal info.

I have found most people (especially the regulars) to be warm, friendly and inviting, but I have also met some really weird people in the chat room.

Tina
(AKA Eternitee)

phoenix3423
I have noticed lots of

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I have noticed lots of people not giving responces. I am not new to this site but have not really been on it either due to computer issues. I would love to have a friendship with another woman who like me is a sisterwife. I have a sisterwife and am not looking for one but a friend would be nice.I live currently in Alabama and have no friends here. We are hoping to be able to relocate to Texas in a few months so we can all live together and for the dryer climate. My email is phoenix3423@yahoo.com if you would like to chat.

zephyr
if you move to arlington or

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if you move to arlington or close message me...well you can email me regardless swrightbethea@yahoo.com...anyone can but right now i'm not trying to add anyone to my relationship just be friends. if you email me tell me that you are from this site

shorty^.^v