connections

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Godsgirl
connections

My husband and I are of the pentecostal holiness faith and neither of us have grew up nor do we know any that has grew up in the polygamy life. We have studied the Bible and prayed for almost 2 years now and truly feel that God is leading us to this path. My question is, by not growing up in this faith or (as far as we know) no polygamist close to where we live, how do we make any kind of connection to this life? I would love to be able to see or even just talk to a polygamist family to help guide us. We just don't know how to pursue this.
Thanks,
Godsgirl

FamilyLife
Darn good question. We're

Comment: 

Darn good question. We're in pretty much the same boat. I see more about the poly lifestyle and more mainstream acceptace, but it's not like there's a local chapter of the poly club to go hang out at and see if anyone clicks, you know? Or at least, if there is, we don't kknow about it. Lol. Then there's the whole "does your version of Poly line up with our version" if you did find someone interested in the poly lifestyle who also fit well with the whole family. Like, we're Christian, but not Mormon. We'd get along really well with Mormons I think (we don't drink, don't smoke, believe in courting not dating, believe marriage is forever, etc), but kind of doubt that most Mormon women interested in poly would be interested in marrying outside their specific faith. Also, it seems even within Mormon polys there are a lot of different ways people live it out. Different houses (no thank you), duplexes (I could see that), the "big house" with a lot of shared spaces (our ideal). It's a tricky situation.

Since you've made your post have you come to any new ideas, thoughts, or revelations?

DaveandBrenda (not verified)
Finding "poly friendly" folks

Comment: 

We were also in the same boat several months ago.

One resource that helped us a lot is available through a website called "http://biblicalfamilies.org". The folks that run that site also host yearly or bi yearly "get togethers" on each coast where you can actually spend a day or two with other people entering or already in the lifestyle. That website also has a lot of actual stories and experiences of real people that are quite helpful.

An interesting point... a while back we did a project, partially as an experiment and partially as a real "search" of going through several online dating sites. We apent the time to seek out profiles that were a good match on a set of our own criteria and contacted those women with our ideas and story. What we got back was fascinating! Only a very small percentage were negative, maybe 1 or 2%. The bulk never contacted back (interpreted as "not interested") that accounts for maybe 80%. The remaining 18% or so... actually returned favorable responses! many of these were interested enough to explore with questions and such. The take away for us from all this was... poly is MUCH more accepted out there in the public than we ever imagined. 20% represents 1 out or 5 single women interested enough to openly discuss it. Of course, thats online, not real life, but I suspect the percentages are similar.

SO, between websites like this and biblical families (there are a few others we have no experience with) for advice and sharing, its not that as difficult and secretive as we might imagine! The TV shows surely have increased interest greatly on both singles and couples.

Unfortunately, the one place that is overwhelming NOT accepting of this, and NOT a source of help, advice, nor sharing... is the "church" in america. By and large, the church as a whole (name pretty much any denomination) has turned its back on the raw truth of marriage and not only accepted but demands adherence to its worldly notions of romance and marriage.

FamilyLife
That's a surprisingly high

Comment: 

Sorry, double post!

FamilyLife
That's a surprisingly high

Comment: 

That's a surprisingly high positive response rate actually. Of those positive responses are any of them leading anywhere? I ask because I really don't like the idea of just saying, "Hey, anybody out there looking for a family to join?" and trying to fit them in. A friend of mine had great success with one of the sites though that does extensive personality matching, and is now happily married.

DaveandBrenda (not verified)
Surprisingly high

Comment: 

Yes it was a surprisingly high positive or neutral response rate! Very Very few "go away you pervert" type responses. The vast majority were pleasant and open to talking. There was a handful of woman that we pursued deeper with and ultimately decided for one reason or another that it wasnt a match (not related to polygamy) which is of course expected.

babe (not verified)
friends not ideologues?

Comment: 

"Belonging" to a "religion" or a "circle of friends" is an eternal human need. At one extreme you make yourself dependent on acceptance, on the acceptance of other people, to a perceived establishment, a church, or a class of believers. On another extreme you can attempt to serve a "God" rather than mere mortals. On yet another extreme you may look for a "lifestyle" format to achieve some of the needs of life somehow. . . and end up classifying everyone around you by how that is defined as people who are included or excluded somehow. . . .

I have found that we only limit ourselves with our definitions most of the time. Most of my friends don't think or believe just as I do. I imagine even God has that problem with all of us somehow.

Still, no one has the time or energy to be "all things to all people" and we cannot avoid the necessity of choosing, and limiting ourselves and our friends somehow.

An ideologue is someone who has a set of ideas that are placed as the paramount criteria in life.

A friend is someone who may either admire, or grieve, at our ways. . . . but who will with the breath of kindness blow the dust and chaff away while treasuring and keeping the grain of our lives precious.

I'd be willing to participate in a meet-up, maybe as frequently as once a month if it was somewhere I could make it to. I like the idea of this forum as a center for diverse people to share ideas, ideals, or make friends with others on civil principles of discussion and wildly open tolerance of our diversity.

Otherwise, this site is about as good as it can get for an internet place to share a few stray moments with people who have a few ideals seen as extraordinary and sometimes isolating. . . .

Imlooking41more
What the church ignores

Comment: 

One well known Baptist preacher told me that if you find a church with one doctrinal error you are bound to find more. He was certainly right! Although, I still go to church, I have learned to do a lot more searching the Scriptures myself. Eat the meat but spit out the bones. One doctrine most every church gets wrong is on plural marriage. Most of the Bible verses they use to oppose plural marriage, actually supports it. Very few doctrines are as clear, or has more support then plural marriage, specifically polygyny. Even Christ identifies Himself as a polygamist in Romans 7:4. Our churches are to blame for the lack of fellow Christians to network with. Most churches are too concerned with money and power to be concerned about doctrine and supportive Christian fellowship.

That is why sites like this need to become the springboards for polygamist networking. You may know someone that is serious about plural marriage, they are not a good fit for your family, but you could recommend them. I think it would be very helpful if those of you that have been around here for awhile could do a little matchmaking. I also think it would be helpful if more people were exposed to being the frauds that they are. Finally, it would be very helpful if we could send pictures to each other privately, without needing to give out our personal email addresses or asking others to do the same. 

I'm married to "Imthefirst1."

Click on my user name for more information about us.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

Imlooking41more
One more thing.

Comment: 

Something that might bring many polygamist families the support that they really need is for like-minded families to start moving close to each other. I would for one, would be willing to move near other polygamist families after building good friendships with them.

I'm married to "Imthefirst1."

Click on my user name for more information about us.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

Pluto8
Pluto8's picture
Not going to happen

Comment: 

Poly families are the most disunited and belief varied group I've ever witnessed. Also it seems that outside of the Mormon groups many if not most daughters do not seek and apparently are not encouraged to seek polygyny. Personal experience here. Truth is you're on your own and it's best to just meet single girls and go from there, in person

 

And it's Matthew 25

Psalm 144:1  Blessed be Yahweh my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight

noblequest
noblequest's picture
I suppose it is because

Comment: 

I am without context as a purely secular guy but "Even Christ identifies Himself as a polygamist in Romans 7:4" confuses me a bit. I read it and I don't see it. Not saying it is not accurate but I am hoping for an expansion on the statement.

 

Morality is your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules - RAH

Imlooking41more
Happy to explain!

Comment: 

I will use the KJV version to explain. The Apostle Paul is talking to the brethren, and he uses the word ye twice which is plural. These brethren are going to marry Christ, who is the One who is raised from the dead. Christ is the groom and the audience, which is called the brethren, are the brides. Of course this is a spiritual union, but the Bible uses marriage as a picture of Christ's relationship with believers. Thus, Christ pictures Himself as a spiritual polygamist thought the pen of the Apostle Paul.  I hope this helps.

I'm married to "Imthefirst1."

Click on my user name for more information about us.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

noblequest
noblequest's picture
Ok knowing which bible...

Comment: 

made quite a difference. When I consulted google with just Romans 7:4 it popped up with the New International Version " So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. ".

Unfortunately having been decades since I read a bible, I did not have the context as to who was speaking to whom and unless you dig a bit that is not casually discerned based upon the quote standing on its own as if in a vacuum. So that made it a tad tougher to see the connection to polygamy when there is no explicit reference to marriage be it singular or plural.

Now that I have a smidgen of context and have seen the King James version of the quote "Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God." there is at least reference marriage and no need to try to derive it. You will have to understand though that from the point of view of an outsider to the Christian faith and one who is not used to the process of interpretation of various verses that it still does not spell out an explicit argument either pro or con to one such as myself.

I would find it to be an easier argument to buy to simply point out the shear number of various unsundry holy and or honorably portrayed biblical figures who were practicing plural marriage with no apparent static being received by them from their god, their culture or their sovereign. That says to me that the origins of the Christian faith were firmly and explicitly pro on the topic of polygyny.

 

Morality is your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules - RAH

Imlooking41more
noblequest you make some good points

Comment: 

I think you could certainly make a solid case with the fact that many of the great men of the Bible were polygamists. Unfortunately the preachers of our day have already concluded that polygamy is sin, therefore they will be blinded to the obvious. 

To me Romans 7:4 is one of the many Biblical passages that make pro polygamy an open and shut case, but I can only speak for me. I do not fault you for coming to the conclusion you did. However, a pastor or teacher of the Bible, who will let the Bible speak for itself, I believe would have to admit, I came to the right conclusion.

Romans 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye (the brides, plural) should be married to another, even to him (the Groom, singular) who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. Words in parentheses are added.

my - this refers to the speaker, the Apostle Paul, who is writing under the inspiration of God. In other words, he is giving his audience the words of God

brethren - this is the audience, primarily Jews, this is a plural word

the first ye - This phrase starts with a plural word. This phrase indicates that the audience was no longer under the Law because Christ had fulfilled the Law. The Law demanded a sacrifice to pay for the penalty of sin and Jesus paid that penalty with His death on the cross.

the second ye - This phrase also starts with a plural word. The ye in this phrase also indicates that Paul continues to speak to the same crowd, the brethren. This phrase also indicates one of the reasons for Jesus' sacrifice: under the Law they were not free to marry Jesus, spiritually speaking of course.

even to Him - this phrase indicates that the body of Christ and the One who is raised from the dead is referring to same person, because nobody marries a dead person.

that we should - these words begin the phrase indicates the reason for the marriage. Just like the marriage between a man and a woman produces fruit (children), the spiritual marriage between Christ and the believer is to produce fruit (new converts). Note also the word, should, this word is not a suggestion as we would use it, but it is a world that indicates an obligation.

I hope this helps and I appreciate your willingness to put effort into studying this. When we study the Bible on our own it helps to keep man's opinion out of the pulpits.

 

I'm married to "Imthefirst1."

Click on my user name for more information about us.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.