Already married monogomously but dating a polyganous man

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Geekgirl_42
Already married monogomously but dating a polyganous man

I've been married to my husband for two years, but we've been together for seven and I'm pregnant with our first child. Between the two of us, he's monogomous and I've identified as polyamorous. With his blessing, I've had fwb and at one point I even had a boyfriend, but no one outside our little arrangement knew. My husband has only met a couple of the fwb I've had over the years.

About a month ago, a local man approached me online about being friends, but I had a feeling he wanted more. It shortly came out that he has two wives and an ex wife with 9 children between them (most of them aren't biologically his). We've started dating and we seem to click. He's kind, caring, and we work well together in bed. We haven't met each other's spouses yet.

My question is has anyone heard of an arrangement like this before? I would stay married and living with my husband and he with his wives, but we would still be in a long term relationship with each other. He wants to take me on trips and on dates and help out with the baby as much as my husband will allow (my husband hasn't raised any complaints about this yet, just concerns I'm going to get hurt) and he wants me to be friends with his wives and another parent to his kids. Am I crazy for even giving this a thought?

Eventually, I would have to come out to my family and friends and my only concern is that I don't want people thinking I'm just running around on my husband, because he's always been part of the discussion and I would never do anything he asked me not to, in regards to this.

Flutterbug
Wow

Comment: 

How is this Not Degrading to your Husband ??
No matter if you truly believe no one else knows that you have 100% Betrayed Your Own Husbands Heart and Soul No Matter that you got him to Agree to "Let you " do what ever floats your boat . You must know (, Think if you would have a baby Boy if This Situation that you want and have made sure you got , Is this something you would Want for your own Son to be Treated like ? Is this What you want for your Own Child ? If not then Why in the World would you Think even A Little that this is Good for your Husband or Yourself ?)
When you Look into your Husbands Eye's maybe when he isn't even looking Do you Think that He even Remotely Deserves to have to even Think his Wife Would Want these "Other Relationships" and Not Want the Best for him ?
As for your Unfaithfulness As This is what you explained very Clearly. And yet you just don't want your Family and Friends to tell you the Truth of what you have done and are doing !
You want your marriage to work as a Back up. And Your Husband As your Money maker and Back up in case you Cannot truly find what you are looking for ! Wow Your Husband I am Praying for him that He May Find the Marriage of his Dreams ! And is able to Find his Strength in his Voice to Have Self Respect and Know he is worth So Much More then This !
The Posts on this Site are Becoming Nothing about The True Poly Lifestyle anymore they are Starting to only be about Cheaters and or Swingers that don't even Know what they Want in the First place let alone how to treat your own Loved ones wow This is Not What God Wants Not even Close maybe you should Understand GOD Knows you EVERYTHING You do or think or Speak !
What would you Think that God himself Would Feel or Even Say to you about all of this !?
If he even gives you the Opportunity to Be in his Presence ??

Apostle
Finally someone responded

Comment: 

To this posting. I was beginning to think everyone was okay with this way of living. Made me want to vomit.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Flutterbug
Apostle

Comment: 

No way , This Op. Is NOT even in the realm of being close to ok ! This kind of OP  are what " so many people who do not know much about the Poly life so Allot of people Truly Think that the Poly Life is about what this OP. is doing and whining about ! 

as This Op and many others i have recently read on this site are Posting things that have ZERO to do with the Poly life at all. and they seem to only want more swingers and or Trying to make there choices to be having affairs and then trying to create some "Back door" in to saying "oh no its not like that i was the other women but now I ,I, I, am Secretly doing the Right thing so now I'm wanting the Poly life. As these "Females" are The Ones that sad to say it but they have not only put there selves at risk to STD'S but completely Ruining other families lives and children Securities as well ONLY CAUSE THEY WANT TO ! Instead of trying to be apart of and creating Happiness and Calm , They Feed off of Turmoil and stress and always Freaking out ! !  

IF THESE "FEMALES " TRULY WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH And REALLY WONDER WHAT THEY SHOULD DO THEY SHOULD REREAD WHAT THEY HAVE WRITTEN EVEN BEFORE THEY POST IT !! And STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH MARRIAGES ! EVEN THE POLY KIND ! I cannot stress this enough they are not wanting what they write down ! They are wanting to have us all go oh you poor soul you are so Lost ! well I for one will NEVER fall Victim to people like this !! They are on a Pro-poly Site talking about Lies and deception  and Trickery to be apart of a supposed Loving Family when all they really do is Destroy !!

 

Apostle
Flutterbug

Comment: 

My sister from another mister. I am glad you wrote this. But to be fair there are some pretty slimy couples on here as well. They use polygamy as a way to lure women in for sex or a paycheck or to be a maid. They also use polygamy as a way to have a built-in babysitter. But you forgot to list the women that use polygamy to get a house, car or a college education.

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Gandhi

Flutterbug
I Agree

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I completely agree with you Apostle !

Amypence
Amypence's picture
Wow

Comment: 

I would think that it would be a betrayal. I couldn't and wouldnt have 2 husbands. I have not see that anywhere in any religion. But who am I to judge. I just dont think I could do that.

Amy pence

Flutterbug
Amypence

Comment: 

Thank you to for writing your post ! :-)
I was starting to think also that I was the only Female here that would say how they feel about it to !
Its kinda odd that the OP seems to be Reposting now the Same thing trying to get someone any one elses approval.
Unless I have the Op confused by someone else?
That is possible ...